Slayer of Monsters


the monsters come from the shadows;

vicious claws that rip scars into flesh,

voices whispers the most vile remarks in her ears,

these monsters– poking and prodding at some flaw.

some mirror exists to despise,

and through her defeats, she cannot outrun them.

she must understand her monsters to slay them. 

to defeat a monster, she must know its weaknesses.

glowing eyes eternally gaze from darkness,

and if you manage to catch this stare

they’re already digging their claws into her skin.

the monsters can see where she’ll walk;

her patterns are predictable,

and prepare an attack days before she takes a step.

their quiet words will remind her of all her mistakes,

reminding her of people she lost, and those she’s hurt–

there’s a new fear of repeating her faults

when she clearly can recall the hurt in a loved one’s eyes.

running away feels like she can find somewhere to hide

and in her past is what scares her the most.

her scars will become a part of her skin and her story. 

she must learn them well and accept the past 

to have future success

where does she think the skeletons in our closets come from?

she must know monsters never really go away; her scars will

not be the only thing monsters leave behind. She may kill them–

this is hardly the first step. she will drag a

lifeless body to the confines of her closets, feeling lighter.

the blood on her hands feels cleansing as she drags–

the power it once held melts into her skin as she walks,

and before the closet the body rests on the ground.

she takes time to admire its lifeless eyes gleaming at her,

and the way its body crumples awkwardly at her control.

it takes time, but their skin rots to leaves their bones,

and there’s a budding belief of hope as she sees her potential. 

it is not fear she needs to lack, but strength she needs to hold. 

she thought those who slayed monsters had no fear but

with her first kills, she knew that wasn’t true.

she learned to be courageous; how to embrace fear

fear gives us protection from the world; but it robs confidence 

she found bravery to be the strength to fight chaos

and to fight even when you might lose. 

she often finds strength in those surrounding her.

the slaying of monsters brings fatigue,

a tiredness she isn’t sure she can escape.

but she knows she can fall to their feet 

and wake up safe in a warm embrace. 

Julia Carmona

edited: Kashvi Ramani


(cw: violence, gore)