New York City is without a doubt the greatest jaywalking city. Natives of the city like myself begin to learn at the tender age of four, and the skill becomes instinctual. One who does not jaywalk is one who does not make the most of the city, or their time. However, one who jaywalks wrong is even worse; to put it simply, they will die an early death. Thus, it is important to be cognizant of every rule when committing this recently-legalized former infraction.

The best situation is when the light is red but there are no cars in sight. In this case, crossing is a no-brainer. However, what if there is a car approaching the crosswalk? This is where things become slightly tricky. Let’s assume a one-way road first for ease. In this case, you need to quickly analyze the situation: is the car close or far? If the car is far enough, it practically doesn’t exist; you may cross. If the car is about to turn, it is not heading towards you; you may cross. However, when the car is approaching straight and is close, it presents a dilemma that must be treated with extreme caution; one wrong move, and you will end up paralyzed or worse. 

There are two courses of action and you must determine which is better: the first is to sprint across as fast as possible. The second is to wait for the car to pass. Of course, the first course of action is more efficient, but a gamble. Thus, several factors must be considered: your speed, the car’s speed, and how many cars there are. Once you consider these factors, you can reach a conclusion; are you fast enough to outrun the car? If you wait for the car to pass, will you be able to cross immediately, or will a dozen others follow that car and stop you in your tracks? You must examine everything in a split second. 

Another rule of jaywalking is something quite simple, although a bit questionable to some: if somebody else decides to jaywalk, so do you. Why? Perhaps because their beginning to walk means that they have already gone through the aforementioned considerations. Or maybe it is because we trust that a car will not hit two people at once. I’m not sure, yet I feel certain of the rule’s validity. 

With these rules in mind, we can now begin to consider jaywalking in different neighborhoods on a case-by-case basis. The Upper East Side is full of students: public middle schools, private middle schools, public high schools, private high schools, you name it. Small kids make haphazard zigzags through the sidewalks, watched over by their cautious nannies, while older boys with ties and blazers strut through the streets. The UES also is a residential neighborhood with a median age skewed higher, so dog-walkers and octogenarians constitute much of the crosswalk activity as well. Drivers, as a result, tend to be more cautious in this area.

The pedestrians make walking tedious, let alone jaywalking. However, everything moves slower in general due to the mindful driving, making for a safely jaywalkable neighborhood. Furthermore, there is an easy way to act without much effort: follow anybody in scrubs. Hospitals are common in this area, and thus nurses and other healthcare workers are ubiquitous. They need to move quickly from place to place, and have become the true masters of Upper East jaywalking, never hesitating for a second. Not only that, their outfits are particularly easy for drivers to spot. Imitating their moves is a surefire way to maximize efficiency and safety. 

Other neighborhoods are more difficult. Even the most experienced jaywalkers will approach Times Square with caution. Crowds of tourists shuffle through at an annoyingly sluggish pace, mesmerized by the flashy billboards and unfortunately vulnerable to the scams of various costumed characters. Blinding fluorescent lights flash everywhere, and the loud honks of taxi cabs mix with even louder music. The chaos is unpleasant and difficult to work your way through. It’s a mystery to me why such a hellish area is a “must-visit” for sightseers. I suggest avoiding Times Square altogether; I’ve only visited for poorly planned get-togethers. But if you are there, the best strategy is to just follow the crowds when crossing, which will usually entail only crossing when you have the right of way. 

Further downtown takes you to heaven. In K-Town, jaywalking is the most fun it will get. Countless times I have cut through the middle of the street to grab a boba after my jjajangmyeon or some bingsu after galbi. The sweet aroma of Korea wafts through your nostrils, combining with the slightly-unpleasant whiffs of cigarette smoke. Thousands of people laugh as they race across 32nd Street when the cars are static. They are there perhaps to celebrate a birthday or an anniversary. In K-Town, cars can get close to the crosswalk, but jaywalking is so frequent there that it’s become a norm. There is rarely a need to think about when to jaywalk, because everybody else does it so often, sometimes not even stopping to look both ways. (I would always recommend looking both ways, though—you never know.)

The city is your oyster; spending even a couple of days in NYC can exponentially increase your jaywalking abilities. And this is without talking about Queens, Brooklyn, and the Bronx, which provide their own sets of challenges that even I have yet to master. But eventually, as one becomes more accustomed to the diverse environments that the city holds, jaywalking becomes as instinctual as breathing. You will marvel at the time you save that would otherwise be spent pointlessly waiting for lights to change.